A goose meeting every internet emergency with aggressively unnecessary calm.
Too online. Still unbothered.
DOOMGOOSE.
The feed is cooked.
The goose is unbothered.
Forty-seven tabs. One unbothered goose. A proposed StonkFun reward launch paired with STONK, using a 3% transfer tax to fund shared holder rewards.
INTERNET SURVIVAL DEPARTMENTNO. 001
🪿
EVERYTHING IS FINE.
HONK.
$DGOOSECHRONICALLY ONLINE
BAD NEWS. GOOD GOOSE. ✳ THE FEED IS COOKED. ✳ HONK RESPONSIBLY.
01 / The origin story
Born in the feed.
Raised by chaos.
The timeline said panic. The group chat said it was over. Someone posted a 93-part thread explaining why.
The goose read none of it.
He had a pond to stare at.
DOOM GOOSE is the goose for the absurdity of being permanently online. One character. A thousand terrible headlines. The same reply: honk.
A reaction format for group chats, broken apps, AI overload, and your seventeenth “once in a lifetime” event.
No complicated lore required. Put the goose in a ridiculous situation. Let the caption do the rest.
02 / Straight from the pond
Less doom.
More goose.
A small batch of original captions. Borrow one for a post, send it to the group chat, or make the joke your own.
DOOM GOOSE / TRANSMISSION 001
I survived 9 breaking news alerts before breakfast.THE FEED IS COOKED. THE GOOSE IS UNBOTHERED.
03 / Holder rewards
3% transfer tax.
Shared holder rewards.
DOOM GOOSE × STONK
Proposed configuration: a StonkFun reward token trading against STONK. Launch details and the official contract will appear here when confirmed.
Token$DGOOSE
Proposed pairSTONK
Proposed transfer tax3%
StatusCOMING SOON
For newer StonkFun reward launches, the selected transfer tax applies to every token transfer. The proposed rate here is 3%; pool trading fees are separate.
The platform distributes collected rewards proportionally to eligible holdings. The 3% is a tax rate, not a personal return, APR, or guaranteed payment.
Payouts normally use the paired quote token. StonkFun may instead distribute the launched token under its rules. Amounts, asset and timing are not guaranteed.
Official contract: coming soon. Verify the contract and launch settings on StonkFun before trading any token named Doom Goose.
How the 3% works
A transfer of 1,000 DGOOSE with a 3% transfer tax withholds 30 DGOOSE before other costs. Those 30 tokens are collected for the platform's reward process; they are not paid in full to each holder. Actual payouts depend on conversion, eligible holdings, platform deductions and launch mode.
StonkFun token pages describe an approximately 2.5% deduction for network and operating costs from the reward process. Community Mode and newer fee-recipient configurations can alter who receives the collected amounts. Verify the actual launch configuration rather than assuming all tax reaches DGOOSE holders.
Sources & verification
Documentation checked October 24, 2026. This verifies platform descriptions, not a deployed Doom Goose token or a security audit.
- StonkFun holder rewards
- StonkFun launch modes and transfer-tax documentation
- StonkFun reward limitations
- Existing STONK-paired reward-token example (not Doom Goose)
Pairing means a trading quote asset; it does not establish endorsement, price backing, or a guaranteed return. Tokens can lose their entire value.